


Choices

by silvertrails



Series: Second Age Arc [1]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 08:31:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17484722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvertrails/pseuds/silvertrails
Summary: Elrond thinks of those he has lost to the war.





	Choices

**Choices  
By CC   
January, 2019**

This is an amateur effort and does not intend to infringe on the rights of J.R.R. Tolkien. No profit is made and no harm is intended. I follow HoME12, so Gil-galad is Orodreth's son.

* * *

Elrond stood on the balcony looking over the green land that was now Gil-galad's realm. It was what remained of the Elven lands after the destruction brought forward by the armies in the War of Wrath. The Ered Luin, which had divided Beleriand from Men's lands, was now the westernmost mountain range in Middle-earth. The lands to the east were slowly being taken by the Edain, though survivors from Doriath, like Oropher, had settled past the Hithaeglir and among the Silvan Elves.

Maybe it was good that Oropher had left, given the tension between Noldor and Sindar. Old wounds were not easy to heal and when new hurts were added the wounds festered and healed badly. Distrust and resentment between the Noldor and Elwë's descendants were deeply rooted in their hearts. They had been able to lay those feelings aside for the greater good but once the danger had passed the old feuds had become important once again.

_How are we going to make peace with the other peoples of Middle-earth if we cannot have it among us? Is Morgoth's taint so strong that it still has enough power to divide us?_

Elrond turned around and reached for the harp sitting on a chair inside the room. It had been Maglor's parting gift when Elrond had joined Gil-galad's army, a reminder of the one passion they shared. He came out to the balcony again and started to play a sweet and sad melody he had learned from Maglor, his eyes fixed on the Belegaer. 

The sea was so powerful and vast... Its waters had filled the broken lands that had sustained the Elven kingdoms. The ancient realms were nothing but memories now, remembered by those who had stayed behind, refusing the Valar's summons. Nothing remained of the Noldor's dreams now, Elrond mused. They had left the Undying Lands in search of new realms, and they had found little joy and much sorrow. 

He wondered if he would ever feel the pull of the sea, like other Elves did. Even those who had never been in Aman seemed to feel some vague calling. Maybe it was something that only full Elves could feel. After all, to them the sea was the promise of a better life after the sorrow and weariness of life in Middle-earth. 

Maybe it was different for Elrond because he did not feel that weariness yet, though he had certainly tasted his share of sorrow. The quest for the Silmarils and the search for the Undying Lands had robbed him of his parents. He had seen Eärendil's Vingilot during the siege, but his father had not set foot on Middle-earth. Once it all was over, Elrond had lost his twin when Elros had become Númenor's first king. Elrond stopped playing. He did not see the sea as the promise of a better life. In a way the sea had taken his family from him. 

He sighed softly, willing the bitterness away. His parents had pursued a dream that had granted Elves and Men the Valar's forgiveness and their aid against Morgoth's darkness. That was a superior motive, was it not? Elrond should be proud that his parents had played such a great role, and he was. Still, the child Elrond had been would have preferred a simpler life, a life where his family stayed together. 

If only Elros had stayed in Lindon... Elrond's twin had started to drift away when they had met the Edain during the siege of Angband. While they were still at war, Elros had gone to them, leaving the Elves' camps. Elros had urged Elrond to come with him, but Elrond already held an important post in Gil-galad's army. He could not leave his duty and the king behind. 

There had been another reason why Elrond had chosen to stay with the Elves, a reason that had little to do with his duty or the king. A reason that still troubled him...

"Watching the sea again?" a voice said behind him. "I would dare to say that you are feeling its call if I were not aware of how far that is from your mind and heart."

Elrond stopped playing. "Is there anything that requires my immediate attention, sire?"

"Relax, Elrond," Gil-galad said. "And there is no need to be so formal where we are alone. Nobody would be here at this time. It is simply too early to be awake."

There was something in the way his cousin was looking at him that made Elrond nervous. Hopefully, Elrond had not woken Gil-galad with his music... 

"Who was it you were thinking about?" Gil-galad asked quietly. "Was it Maglor, perhaps?"

Elrond almost started, but he managed to school his face into a calm mask. "I am starting to think that you can read my mind, Ereinion."

"I merely observe you," Gil-galad said, coming closer. "So was it Maglor then? I would have hoped you would be healed of that wound."

"Which wound?" Elrond asked softly. "Do you mean my love for the elf who slew my people? Or do you mean the pain of losing him to his madness?"

Gil-galad did not answer. 

"I have lost my family, Ereinion," Elrond continued. "I am aware that their departure obeys to a greater scheme but that knowledge does little to soothe the pain. Maedhros and Maglor were responsible for the destruction of my home, but sometimes I wonder if they were not supposed to do it so my parents could leave Middle-earth unburdened."

"Your parents loved you and your twin, Elrond," Gil-galad said seriously. "They tried to keep you safe amid the darkness. Things would have been different if I had reached the Havens of Sirion in time, but it was not meant to be."

"I know."

"Still, it is not enough, is it?" Gil-galad said softly. "Come, let me help you ease your mind."

Gil-galad steered Elrond back to the room and made him sit on a settee, placing himself behind. Elrond sighed softly when Gil-galad placed his hands on his shoulders and started massaging. Elrond struggled to stop thinking and relax.

"You mourn Maglor still," Gil-galad said. 

"He is not in the Halls!" Elrond exclaimed. 

Gil-galad stopped. "I did not say he was, though it is the same as if he were there. Nobody has seen him since Eonwë allowed him and Maedhros to leave."

"He is not," Elrond said, dismayed at how strongly he felt Maglor's possible passing. Why should he feel like this for Feänor's son? How could he feel love for someone who had destroyed his family on account of the Silmarils?

Gil-galad resumed the massage, and Elrond leaned into his touch unconsciously. His mind was not at rest, though. Sometimes, when he looked toward the sea, Elrond thought he could see a shadow walking along the shore. There were other times where he woke and heard a beautiful song, almost a lament, in the night. 

"They say he is mad," Gil-galad said quietly.

"They say many things," Elrond said wistfully. "He has lost his brothers, and he has no hopes of seeing his mother again. He missed her. He wished he could go back and see her again."

"He could have gone back," Gil-galad said. "Eonwë summoned everyone back, even the sons of Feänor. You know him better, Elrond. Why did he stay? Why do you think he refused to go if he wanted it so much?"

"I wish I knew," Elrond said, sighing. "I would dare say that Maedhros convinced him to stay. Maglor loved his brother and would have done something like this for him. If Maedhros did not want to go back, then Maglor would not leave him behind."

"Like Elros left you," Gil-galad said bluntly. 

"Like Elros left me," Elrond agreed. "I am aware that there is an important difference between my brother's actions and Maglor's. Still, they all stayed together, fought together..."

"And lost themselves together," Gil-galad said. "What is it that troubles you, Elrond? Losing Maglor? Or the fact that he was lost in a futile quest?"

"The love I still feel for him," Elrond said quietly. "They murdered more Elves, Maedhros and him. They did not stop, even when they knew it was futile. Why did they continue? What drove them to lose their lives like this? Is a curse so strong? Can there not be redemption for them... for him?"

Gil-galad came from behind the settee and sat beside Elrond, gently brushing the wetness that had escaped his eyes before speaking again. 

"I do not know, Elrond," he said quietly. "I have never pondered these things. There was no time to question our fate when we were always about to be attacked. I escaped Nargothrond after my father's death. My sister was slain... I arrived late to save you... The curse has shaped the Noldor's fate, taking down every kingdom we have built."

Gil-galad paused and looked away, and Elrond knew that something had remained unsaid. Would Ereinion's realm last? He did not voice his thoughts though. 

"I know not if redemption is possible for Maglor," Gil-galad continued. "He is a slayer, the same as his brothers, and he lost the last chance when he refused to go back. I wish I knew what will become of him, if only to quiet your heart."

"It is all right," Elrond said softly. "I am aware that I might never see him again, and that his choices determined his fate. If he had not given me his love things would be simpler, but when was life an easy task? If there is something I have learned is that some questions are not meant to get an answer."


End file.
